Donald Williams

Writing Samples

The following samples are collected from assignments for Professional writing ENC3250 

 

This assignments goal was to revise a business email from BestBabyGear.com in order for it to have more business tone. Below is my revision and following that will be the original:

 

To: Manager@Inglesina.com

Subject: BestBabyGear.com

 

Here at www.BestBabyGear.com, we specialize in providing the very best products for the parents of newborns, infants, and toddlers. We are constantly running searches for superior products that are well built and yet classy enough to be added to our customer voted award-winning website and that search has led us to find Inglisina. High expectations are a common occurrence when selecting a product to add to our portfolio. In order to remain elite, there must be emphasis put on the products amount of sales so that the companies that do join our portfolio remain successful. It is understandable that for such a market there will be a fluctuation in sales, but here at www.BestBabyGear.com, we take pride in making sure that our contributors always come out on top. With great excitement and upon your acceptance, it is my pleasure on behalf of www.BestBabyGear.com to offer Inglesina a place on our portfolio and we welcome you to a family that will always have your best interests in mind. 

 

Sincerely,

Donald Williams

Marketing Manager

BestBabyGear.com

 

Original

 

Our etailing site, www.BestBabyGear.com, specializes in only the very best products for parents of newborns, infants, and toddlers. We constantly scour the world looking for products that are good enough and well-built enough and classy enough - good enough to take their place alongside the hundred of other carefully selected products that adorn the pages of our award winning website, we aim for the fences every time we select a product to join this portfolio; we don’t want to waste our time with onesey-twosey products that might sell a half dozen units per annum - no, we want every product to be a top-drawer success, selling at least one hundred units per specific model per year in order to justify our expense and hassle factor in adding it to the above mentioned portfolio.www.bestbabygear.com. 

After careful conclusion, we thusly concluded that your Inglesina lines meet our needs and would therefore like to add it.